In our fast-paced world, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by emotions, whether at work, in personal relationships, or during everyday activities. Emotional regulation—the ability to manage and respond to emotions in a healthy, constructive way—is key to maintaining balance and mental wellbeing. But what do you do when you’re caught in the swirl of heightened emotions? How can you pause, recalibrate, and regain control? 

Here’s a guide to help you regulate your emotions when they feel like they’re about to take over. 

1. Recognize and Name the Emotion

The first step to emotional regulation is recognizing what you’re feeling. Heightened emotions can be a blur but pausing to name what you’re experiencing—whether it’s anger, frustration, anxiety, or sadness—can give you a sense of control. This self-awareness creates a space between you and your emotions, allowing you to reflect on them rather than being swept away by them. 

2. Breathe Deeply and Ground Yourself

When emotions escalate, your body responds. Your heart rate quickens, your muscles tense, and your breathing becomes shallow. By practicing mindful breathing, you can send signals to your brain that it’s time to calm down. Try the following technique: 

• 4-7-8 breathing: Inhale deeply through your nose for a count of 4, hold the breath for 7 counts, then exhale slowly for a count of 8. Repeat this a few times to slow your heart rate and clear your mind. 

Grounding techniques can also help bring your attention back to the present. Try focusing on the sensations around you—your feet on the floor, the texture of an object in your hand, or ambient sounds. This physical connection can stop the emotional spiral. 

3. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Heightened emotions often come with negative, irrational thoughts that can fuel the fire. Cognitive reframing, a technique from cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), involves challenging these unhelpful thoughts and replacing them with more balanced ones. Ask yourself: 

• Is this thought based on facts or assumptions? 

• What evidence supports or refutes this thought? 

• What’s a more constructive way to look at this situation? 

By identifying distortions, you reduce the power they have over your emotions. 

4. Take a Break

Sometimes, the best way to regulate your emotions is to step away from the situation causing them. If possible, take a short break. Go for a walk, get some fresh air, or find a quiet space to decompress. Removing yourself from the source of stress allows you to regain perspective and respond more thoughtfully. 

5. Practice Self-Compassion

We often judge ourselves harshly when we feel overwhelmed, thinking, “I shouldn’t be feeling this way,” or “I should be able to handle this better.” However, self-criticism only amplifies stress. Instead, practice self-compassion by acknowledging that it’s okay to feel intense emotions and that everyone has moments when they feel out of control. 

• Affirmations: Repeat kind, understanding words to yourself, such as “It’s okay to feel this,” or “I am allowed to take a moment to gather myself.” 

6. Use Movement to Release Energy

Emotions manifest physically. Heightened feelings, especially anger and anxiety, often need an outlet. Physical activity can be an effective release valve. Whether it’s a brisk walk, stretching, or even shaking out your hands, movement helps your body release pent-up energy and tension. 

• Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and relax your muscle groups one at a time, from your toes to your head, to physically release stress. 

7. Focus on What You Can Control

In emotional moments, we often dwell on the things we can’t control, which can make emotions feel more overwhelming. Instead, shift your focus to what you can control: your reactions, your words, and your actions. Reclaiming that sense of agency can help reduce feelings of helplessness. 

8. Express Your Emotions in a Healthy Way

Bottling up emotions can lead to even more intense reactions later. Once you’ve taken time to calm down, find a constructive way to express how you feel. This could be through journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or creating art. The goal is to externalize the emotion without letting it take over your behaviour. 

9. Develop a Regular Emotional Regulation Practice

The more you practice emotional regulation in calm moments, the easier it will be to apply in times of stress. Incorporating mindfulness practices like meditation, gratitude journaling, and emotional awareness exercises into your routine can strengthen your ability to manage emotions when they spike. 

10. Know When to Seek Help

Sometimes emotions are so overwhelming that self-regulation techniques aren’t enough. If you find that you’re consistently struggling to manage your emotions, it may be helpful to seek professional support. Therapy or counselling can provide additional tools and strategies to improve emotional resilience. 

Resources for help  

Conclusion 

Emotional regulation is a skill that takes time and practice to develop, but it’s one of the most valuable tools for maintaining emotional well-being. By becoming aware of your emotions, grounding yourself in the present, and challenging negative thoughts, you can navigate intense emotions in a healthy, constructive way. Remember, it’s not about suppressing your emotions—it’s about learning how to respond to them thoughtfully, with patience and self-compassion.